


Hide and Seek

by Okadiah



Series: A Day of Recovery [5]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Games, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Twilight of the Apprentice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 09:10:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6977002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okadiah/pseuds/Okadiah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanan was at a loss. Why was Chopper stealing his walking stick over and over again like an awful game of hide and seek? This wasn’t a game! He needed it, but no matter how hard Kanan fought to keep it, Chopper kept on finding ways to squirrel it away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hide and Seek

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank Charity_Angel for the wonderful beta work done for this piece! Any other mistakes are all mine.

Kanan sighed heavily, attempting to ignore the strain and ache that had been steadily growing in his mind as the afternoon had progressed. Despite Hera's insistence on taking some time to rest and heal, Kanan couldn't bring himself to remain so idle, particularly when trapped in his blinded body. He figured that a good compromise would be an afternoon spent in careful meditation where he could work on reestablishing his connection to the Force, and developing his Force sense. It would require him to remain stationary and allow his body to mend while he kept his mind clear and open to the Force. It had seemed like a very untaxing compromise. Generally, he found meditation to be soothing and opening, a peaceful activity of the mind. This would be no different, particularly given that he had the _Ghost_ mostly to himself.

He found that he was mistaken in that assumption.

The first hour of meditation after lunch had been exactly as he'd expected. Relaxing. Simply connecting to the Force was something that was deeply relieving, and not having it swell and roil around him chaotically as it had been made him feel as if the world had settled and he was at peace. If not for the pointed throb across his eyes, or the heavy ache in his muscles, he might have imagined that nothing of Malachor had occurred.

But he'd just _had_ to get ambitious. Kanan never was one to sit still for too long, especially when he wanted to train or practice a skill. He hadn't been at all surprised when he'd started probing the Force, intent on building up his Force sense. Frankly, the list of reason’s driving him to improve were growing and he wanted to do away with the list entirely, and as soon as possible.

After lunch, AP-5 had arrived with Chopper bearing the walking stick the old doctor had promised him last night, and he'd accepted it as humbly and willingly as he could. He couldn’t rely on everyone else to lead him like an invalid. He needed to figure out how to at least move about on his own, and given that Hera and Sabine both had errands they needed to accomplish on the fleet ship that would hold them through until the evening, he figured he might as well get started on it.

Chopper had insisted that in the absence of Hera and Sabine, he’d be more than willing to lead Kanan back to the _Ghost_ himself, but the Jedi had insisted on making it back with as little aid as possible. Until his connection to the Force was stronger and he could use his Force sense without thinking about it and without effort, he needed to learn how to do this so that he could relieve them of some of his burden and become more self-sufficient.

Chopper didn’t appear to agree, and the way back to the _Ghost_ had been difficult because of it. The entire way, Chopper had been in tow as Kanan worked out the mechanics of the walking stick, allowing the built in sensor to alert him when he was coming too close to any given object. It was a disconcerting and unnerving method of movement, after a lifetime navigating easily on his own, and he quickly developed a healthy respect for the blind he'd seen using these navigation tools with such confidence and ease. He felt as if he was going to fall to the ground, or hit something in spite of the stick and crash into it, and the experience was made that much worse by Chopper. The astromech insisted on ramming into Kanan's legs whenever he felt Kanan was going even the slightest bit off track on the way to the _Ghost_. Kanan realized that if _anything_ was going to make him fall, it would be Chopper, but the astromech had seemed undaunted and kept on beating his legs no matter how often Kanan barked at him to stop. Kanan's legs felt bruised from the abuse, and it gave him pressing motivation to hone his Force sense to use.

The sooner he didn't have to rely on the walking stick, and the sooner he could make Chopper stop assaulting him, the better.

Meditating to improve his Force sense wasn't like a general meditation to open himself up to the Force. Well, it was, but because Force sense was never something he specialized or trained in extensively when he was still a Jedi at the Temple, it was like a mental muscle he'd rarely used which had atrophied over the last fifteen years he'd been Kanan Jarrus. It was true that he had to open himself to the Force, and that he had to focus. None of that was different. But the object of focus was different, and that was what strained his mind considerably. Instead of focusing on some abstract quality or idea found in the Force, he was focusing on himself and his bodily senses, and it quickly began to feel like a terrible balancing act.

To 'see' as he had on Malachor, he not only used his hearing, he'd used his entire body to feel and sense Maul. Upon reflection, he realized he'd even smelled the old Sith - as uncomfortable as that had been. All of his senses had worked together in perfect harmony to give Kanan a view of reality without the aid of his eyes, and he had 'seen' clearly. He still wasn't sure how he'd done it but as the meditation progressed, he'd developed a feel for it. Through awkward trial and error, he used the Force to unify the senses of his body to feel the world and 'see', while at the same time trying hard not to force the matter as he had the previous night in the Medical Bay. He was slow and agonizingly careful about it, but he acknowledged that there was a layer of eagerness there that kept him working at it even when it was long past time for him to take a break and mentally recover.

But his perseverance had paid off, and in spite of the growing headache planted in the center of his mind from the dedicated focus and stress, he was doing it. He was Force sensing, if only in the vaguest way possible. Without the use of his eyes, he could make out the shape of his cabin around him through the interaction of the Force and his body. It didn't matter to him that it felt only faintly defined, like the lightest of lead drawings, hardly a sketch, but it was there. He'd done it. And with more practice he knew the world would begin to gain more definition until he'd be able to really 'see' again, and perhaps see better than he ever had in his life.

Right now, however, he’d reached his limit. His mind felt sluggish and ached with growing sharpness, and he finally admitted to himself that he’d earned a break. A rest. All he could think about was laying down for a while and letting his mind recover. There would be more time for practice later, but it would do him no good to burn himself out now. Rest would do him good.

At the thought of rest he quietly yearned for Hera.

He wouldn't tell a soul, but Hera ... her presence last night when he fell asleep, and then when he woke up, had been something profound and important to him. A small part of him knew that no matter how tired he was, he was unlikely to fall asleep without her, at least not for a while. He might rest, but without her he knew he’d be hard pressed to drop off to sleep, especially here in his cabin, surrounded by all of him and very little of her.

Just as Kanan was pulling himself back in from the meditation, he became aware of the sound of Chopper's wheels moving down the hall, pausing and shifting right outside before there was a series of sharp, metal thuds on his cabin door. Kanan was surprised. Usually Chopper didn't care about barging in on anyone, except Hera and Sabine, and this politeness was out of character, even if it was telling. The droid was being as respectful as he could be, mindful of Kanan's loss.

Kanan shifted out of the kneeling posture of meditation to a more forgiving cross-legged position, sighing with relief as he let his back finally rest against the wall. Carefully he held onto the Force sense, and would for as long as he could. He needed to practice accessing it and using it while not in strict meditation. He was pleased when the Forces sense held.

"Come in, Chopper," Kanan called, and the door to his cabin immediately hissed open and the astromech rolled slowly inside. Kanan almost smiled as he watched Chopper move. He was satisfied that not only was his sense holding, but that it was working when focused on a moving target too. "What is it?"

Kanan waited for the blip and warble of craggy binary, unsure if he should expect the somewhat solemn disposition the droid had been displaying since they'd left Malachor, or the feisty attitude the droid was infamous for. But all that met Kanan was silence as Chopper sat there and watched him, shifting now and then very minutely, as if the droid was thinking, or looking for something.

Under normal circumstances that was never a good sign. But with the way Chopper had been acting recently, Kanan had no idea how he should interpret the behavior.

"Chopper?"

Slowly the droid began to move forward, and Kanan warily tracked him until Chopper was close enough that the Jedi could smell the oil he used to keep his metal body in working order.

If Kanan had eyelids, he would have blinked at the sudden speed with which Chopper dashed forward as he swung one of his small metal arms down to grab at the floor beside Kanan, and all but flew out of the cabin the next instant. The door hissed shut behind him as the sound of his wheels carried the droid away. Through the Force Kanan curiously followed the astromech as he went to the cockpit and threw something small and narrow onto one of the seats, his top swinging around in triumph. Kanan could all but hear the distinctive 'whoop-whoop!' in the back of his mind.

What the —?

Kanan moved to stand and investigate this strange behavior, his hand reaching out mindlessly when it dawned on him what Chopper had done. The walking stick. He’d stolen Kanan’s walking stick. Whenever it wasn't in use, it was collapsible and small, and he still wasn't quite used to its presence. That was why its theft hadn't been obvious to him. For some reason, Chopper had taken it.

"Chopper!" Kanan called out into the empty halls of the _Ghost_ as he burst from his room, and he was surprised when the droid did come back in a chipper mood. If Kanan could have glared, he would have. "Bring back the stick, Chopper. I need it."

Chopper made sounds in binary as he shook the top half of his body back and forth in what was definitely a shake of the head. The binary came through nice and clear, and Kanan frowned. Apparently Chopper was of the opinion that Kanan didn't require the metal stick to navigate. And so he'd disposed of it.

"You haven't gotten rid of it, Chop. I know where it is."

Mind focused, he began walking towards the cockpit. He kept a hand on the wall just in case his Force sense gave out if his concentration slipped, however. Chopper followed behind, strangely quiet as Kanan made his way, and when it became obviously clear that Kanan knew exactly where his walking stick was, Chopper plowed into him, knocking him against the wall to swing around the seat where he'd hidden the stick. He snatched it up again and dashed away on his wheel, warbling loudly in binary which was almost a wail and completely incomprehensible.

"Chopper, come back here!" Kanan dashed to follow the droid before he got away, but the sudden motion left the burn wound over his eyes throbbing and sent a bolt of pain searing through his mind, cracking his connection to the Force. Immediately his senses dulled and normalized and his hand shot out for the wall again.

The urge to touch and soothe his aching face was overwhelming, but he couldn't risk infecting the bacta bandage. Instead he dug his hand into the side of his hair and clenched a handful, focusing on his breath in an attempt to let the urge pass. Unable to stop himself, he ran his hand through his hair again, forcing it free of the band holding it back. The long, smooth tendrils fell around his neck and shoulders and face, tickling his nose. Damn it. Kasmir would've laughed at him for still running his hand through his hair, even after fifteen years. But it was oddly comforting and distracting, and who cared if he gave into it right now? He didn't give in often.

Once the pain had passed, Kanan sighed and dropped his hand, focusing on reestablishing his connection to the Force. Slowly the connection was made and he could 'see' again, but it was weaker than it had been and it made his head pound harder. He knew that as this went on longer and longer, the harder it would become to maintain the Force sense. But for now he could, and with focus he began searching for Chopper again, and found him throwing the stick into the rear gunning station.

"I still know where you put it, Chopper!" he called as he began heading in that direction, and once the droid caught sight of him clearly heading towards the new hiding place, Chopper had the stick again and was darting away once more. Kanan let his head tip back towards the ceiling as he gave a great, exasperated sigh.

It appeared that Chopper was in the mood to play hide and seek with his walking stick.

Great. Just great. If he'd been feeling better, if his mind, face, and his body didn't throb and ache terribly then this wouldn't have been a problem, but his focus was strained and his body throbbed and pulsed with fatigue and weakness and hurt. He just wasn't up to this right now, and all he wanted was to get his walking stick back, go to his cabin, and rest his mind without torment.

And instead, he was playing games with a mad droid.

As much as Kanan wished he could say that the games didn't last all that long, he'd be lying. For the better part of an hour, he chased Chopper around the _Ghost_ , risking life and limb to get the damn stick back. Simple hiding places soon became less frequent, and Chopper started getting crafty. Distractions that disrupted Kanan's concentration gave Chopper the time needed to squirrel away the walking stick again and again.

But he found it. He always did, but the rounds were getting harder and harder the longer they went. The hiding places were higher and more dangerous, spaces in the _Ghost_ even Ezra wouldn't have been able to fit in. Once he’d even found it in the refresher tank before Chopper had taken it once more.

After those tactics stopped working, Chopper upped his game again in desperation and resorted to, at one point, throwing the stick out into the Atollon desert — Chopper clearly hoped that Kanan would never find it out amongst the sand and rocks — and when that hadn't worked, had found one of Sabine's explosives and had threatened to blow the stick up.

Kanan was floored by the lengths Chopper was willing to go in this mad drive to hide the walking stick from him; this was extreme, even by Chopper's standards! It was only due to quick thinking on his part that he'd managed to send the explosive flying to safety before Chopper had the chance to detonate it, much to the droid's chagrin. Threats and curses had been made after that one. Kanan was glad that the rest of the crew was far and gone, and hadn’t been around to hear such filthy language from the Jedi Knight.

Now, though, Kanan had Chopper trapped in the _Ghost's_ storage bay, and there would be no way for the astromech to get past him this time. He was getting that damn stick, and when he did he would be hard pressed not to whack the droid with it for the monstrous headache he'd created. This was it. Kanan was done playing.

"Enough games, Chopper," Kanan said firmly, hands ready in case the droid tried to make a break for it. His hold on the Force was feeble at best and he wouldn't call what he was using now 'Force sense'. He couldn't see specifically, but he had heightened instincts, and for this it was enough. He knew where Chopper was and what he was doing, and he was ending this. "Give it here."

The droid chittered in binary that Kanan didn't require the stick and that Chopper was doing him a favor. He'd been saying much the same thing for the last half hour, and no matter how many times Kanan pointed out — or embarrassed himself by proving it — that he was blind, Chopper insisted that Kanan wasn't because he could utilize the Force, or could ask for assistance in the meantime, and that he didn't require a walking stick at all. Kanan could ask Chopper for help if he needed it, after all he was vastly superior to such a mindless object. The stick wasn't necessary, so Kanan shouldn't become accustomed to it.

"You know that's not true, Chop!" Kanan yelled angrily, losing his cool and losing his connection to the Force at the same time, and he cursed before fighting to reestablish as quickly as he could again. It was grueling and painful, and his head burned horribly for it. But that had been all the time Chopper needed to attempt an escape. His boosters ignited and he flew easily to the ceiling, waving the stick triumphantly.

No. Kanan had enough. Not this time.

Lifting a hand, he used the Force to yank the walking stick from the droid's grasp, and Chopper warbled loudly in surprise and confusion, shifting to and fro in the air as they now played tug of war. With a sudden surge of confidence, Kanan felt Chopper's hold on the stick slip, and with what little concentration he could scrounge up, he tossed it as far away from the astromech as he could. The stick flew into the air before clattering down the hall.

Kanan smirked as he burst into motion and Chopper let out a mechanical yell as he tried to get there before the Jedi. In the midst of the scramble, Kanan paused when he heard a great thump from above, and realized he only had moments to prepare before a high tower of storage containers came crashing down on top of him, knocked over in Chopper's haste.

Heavy collisions to his shoulder and back rained down on him, throttling him chaotically as the Force slipped from his grasp, leaving him to fend for himself. Instinctively he curled, his arms going over his head to protect the sensitive wound on his face, and he resigned himself to wait for all the boxes to stop falling. They weren't deathly heavy, or filled with things that would kill him, but they were heavy and numerous enough to pin him, and he regretted letting the droid in his room earlier. This wouldn't have happened if he'd taken a break when he'd needed to to keep his mind fresh and strong, instead of pushing himself too hard.

Binary beeped frantically as Chopper landed with a loud thud, as if he'd given no care to how hard he'd come down at all, and was immediately working to unearth Kanan. Metal arms thumped and whacked and shoved the various boxes here and there before the Jedi felt a metal arm press against his hand. Chopper requested that Kanan take it so that he could be removed from the pile.

For a moment Kanan considered refusing the help, given that he was in this mess because of the droid, but instead he shoved the hot and angry emotions away as he grabbed hold and allowed the sturdy droid to tug him free. In a few moments the astromech had him out and Kanan was stumbling to his feet as Chopper lead him to a wall. Relieved, he pressed his hand to the surface in relief and listened to Chopper's binary ask if he sustained injuries, or if he required medical attention at the fleet's Medical Bay.

"No, I'm fine," Kanan said softly as he dragged a hand over the lower half of his face to center himself in his normal senses yet again. He had no real desire to see the fleet's doctor again. The worst that he'd received might have been a bruise from one of the boxes and that wasn't _nearly_ enough to encourage a medical visit.

Chopper warbled apologetically, but Kanan sighed heavily in response when he heard the droid's head swivel and come to a stop at a spot Kanan could guess was where the walking stick had fallen. Kanan heard Chopper's gears and motors click and move, shifting ever so slightly and somehow Kanan just knew, even without the Force, what the droid was about to do.

No more. He'd let this nonsense go on long enough. Kanan needed to figure out why Chopper was up to these headache inducing antics, and so long as the droid could get away, it would keep happening. So channeling the Force again, despite the searing burn of pain, Kanan reached out and lifted Chopper off the ground. The astromech wouldn't be going anywhere now.

In response, Chopper began beeping and warbling in binary loudly, concerned by the fact that he was no longer on the ground as he should be. He frantically requested to be returned to the floor.

"No, Chop. If I put you down, you're just going to take it again, and you're going to try and hide it. I'm done playing games."

Chopper warbled, whipping his metal arms around while claiming he wouldn't. Kanan wasn't at all convinced, but to prove a point, he carefully placed the droid on the ground and waited.

He wasn't surprised that he didn't have to wait long. Chopper paused for the briefest of moments before attempting another dash for the walking stick where it still lay down the hall and, already prepared, Kanan reached for the Force and Chopper was once again in the air.

"You were saying?" Kanan asked, crossing his arms as he leveled his nonexistent gaze at the droid, and Chopper chittered sheepishly, as if laughing but uncomfortable about it.

"Enough Chopper. If you try to take it away again, I'm going to throw you out of the _Ghost_ and lock you out until the others get back." Reaching out to the Force with his other hand, he summoned the stick as if it had been his lightsaber. Once it was safely back in his hand, he pressed the button to extend it out to a proper length, and Chopper all but moaned as he did so. Kanan frowned at him as he made his way over to the astromech where he still hung in the air.

"Why did you keep trying to hide it, Chopper? Until I'm strong enough in the Force to stop needing it, well ... I need it." Chopper didn't say anything for a long moment, maintaining silence before Kanan sighed and ran a hand through his hair again, unable to stop himself now that he’d started.

"It's not like you to play needlessly cruel games. You prank, but you're never cruel for the sake of cruelty. What's going on?"

It was long coming, but the warbled binary came practically pathetic in tone, and Kanan sighed as he gently let the droid back to the ground. With a click of a button he depressed the stick enough so that he could lean against it as he crouched to Chopper's level. The droid didn't attempt to take the stick again, and felt for the first time as if he was slumped and limp, head down and apologetic.

"Chop?"

Binary bipped through the air quietly and reluctant, but honest and clear for the first time all afternoon. If Kanan had still had eyes, they would have widened in surprise.

Chopper felt guilty. He'd done all of this because he felt guilty about what happened to Kanan on Malachor.

Confusion made Kanan's hold on the stick tense. Why did Chopper feel guilty about Malachor? It made no sense. There was no reason for it. Chopper had done everything that had been asked of him perfectly. He'd been the steadiest and most dependable member of the team. There was no reason for Chopper to feel guilty.

But for some reason, he was. And Kanan needed to find out why.

"Why, Chop?" Kanan asked, unable to hide the surprise in his voice as he gave the droid all of his attention. "Nothing that happened on Malachor was your fault. You did everything right. There's nothing you should feel guilty about."

The astromech gave the equivalent of a sigh before his top shifted slowly and a small metal arm gently tapped the bandage's bacta dispersal unit over Kanan's ear before he muttered in binary that this could have been something he might have been able to prevent.

Kanan's brow furrowed. How was his blindness something that might have been prevented?

"I need you to walk me through this one, Chopper. I don't understand," Kanan said slowly with a concerned frown. Silence met his request, and for a moment Kanan wondered if he was going to have to order the droid to tell him what was on his mind, but before it came to that a simple series of soft warbled binary slipped into the air, slow and clear so that Kanan understood.

Kanan had ordered Chopper to have the _Phantom_ hidden and ready for takeoff. Chopper had run an algorithm to determine where the best spots to lay in wait would be. One possibility, but a viable possibility, had been a position near to where Kanan, Ahsoka, and Maul had been located. Chopper had decided against that option because it wasn't a logical choice, given that he'd assumed Ezra had been in the vicinity, and had underestimated how much of a threat Maul would be when he'd run his calculations. He’d overestimated the group's security, and had come to the conclusion anymore help would become compromising. Because of these assumptions, he’d chosen a logical alternative. If Chopper had chosen the position closest instead, he would have been within sight of Maul, and might have been able to stop Maul from attacking Kanan.

Chopper was convinced that he'd calculated poorly, and because he had, he'd been in a position that prevented him from being there to aid Kanan, when he might have been able to otherwise. He felt partially to blame for Kanan's blindness because of this choice.

"Chop ..." Kanan said, speechless. "You couldn't have known that this would happen. None of us did. This isn't your fault. Your logic was sound, given what you knew." Kanan placed his hand gently on the top of Chopper's exterior and he felt the droid all but sag as it leaned forward into his touch, as if deeply bothered.

Kanan frowned down at the droid. It hadn't even occurred to him that Chopper might feel guilty about what happened on Malachor whatsoever, but maybe he should have suspected. It hadn't only been him and Ezra and Ahsoka that had gone to the Sith planet. Chopper had been there too.

"You know that you were already doing everything you could," Kanan finally breathed, wishing he could see the droid with the eyes he’d lost and would never get back.

Chopper warbled lowly. He'd been ready and waiting for them in the _Phantom_. If Chopper had been nearby, he might have been able to distract or eliminate the Sith, or at the very least prevent Kanan’s blinded state.

"Or he might have deflected the shot and taken you down," Kanan argued, stroking the sorrowful droid. "This is better than having lost you instead, Chopper."

Binary filled the air quietly. Chopper didn't agree. Kanan frowned heavily when the droid made the argument that since he was a droid, he was replaceable. Expendable. It would have been worth the sacrifice. The organic members of the crew were fragile and could be permanently damaged. They weren't replaceable. He was, and being destroyed to save Kanan's eyes would have been worth it.

If Kanan still had eyes to narrow, he would have narrowed them incredulously.

"Will you shut up?" Kanan thumped the top of Chopper's metal head, forcing the droid to perk up in awareness and agitation as he warbled back readily. Kanan wasn't having any of it. "Chopper, you're not just a droid to us. You're a member of the crew, and you're family. There's no replacing you."

Undaunted, Chopper pointed out that both Kanan and Zeb had gambled and lost him to Lando Calrissian once, and that the whole crew had left him behind on Horizon Base when he'd left his post for a new strut — admittedly his fault, but they hadn't even thought to check for him until after the fact.

Kanan pursed his lips. "Lando was a mistake, and he probably cheated anyway. But we've never bet you again and we're never going to. We learned our lesson. As for Horizon Base, well come on, we had a plan and you were supposed to be there."

The droid did the equivalent of a shrug and turned a little away from Kanan, clearly unconvinced. This was such rare behavior for Chopper that Kanan was at a loss as to what to do or say. How was he supposed to convince the droid that he had worth when he so obviously did? That he was a valued and begrudgingly loved member of the crew, and that his loss would be devastating to them all?

What would Hera tell him?

Facts. Chopper was a droid after all. If Kanan wanted to win him over, he needed to come at it from a logical angle.

"Chop," Kanan said, "who maintains the _Ghost_?"

The astromech warbled that Ezra was picking it up and that he could do what Chopper could do, even if it was decidedly slow and poorly done. Kanan would have rolled his eyes. Fine.

"Who's our co-pilot? Who's our espionage agent? Who can survive and work out in the vacuum of space? Who can perform diagnostic analysis of the _Ghost_ and the _Phantom_? Who can provide holographic maps and communication? Who's got our backs when we need him to guard our rear? Who terrorizes us when he gets bored? Who's the practical joker of the crew? Who drives Zeb and Ezra mad? Who takes pleasure in it — well, let's not answer that one —"

Binary cracked through the air. Enough! Enough, he understood. Kanan could stop! It was clearly a fact that Chopper was vastly superior to all of the Crew in all of these matters.

Kanan smiled in triumph before it softened gently. "Chopper, you are very important to us, and if we lost you, I don't know how we'd get by. We might have to find another astromech, but they wouldn't be you, and though sometimes you're a pain, we still love and care about you. If something happened to you, Hera would be devastated, and you know it.” At the mention of Hera, the droid slumped a little, knowing it would be true. “What happened on Malachor wasn’t your fault. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s Maul’s. So enough of the guilt and worthlessness, alright buddy? There's enough of it as it is."

The droid slowly straightened, and warbled in binary that he appreciated Kanan's consideration, and that it would indeed be a shame for the crew to lose such fine help, and that Hera would be sad if something were to happen to him. But right at the end, he shifted in the direction of the walking stick and then back up at Kanan, as if to look him in the eyes, before Chopper told Kanan that he still felt like he should do something to assist him. At the very least, it would make his programming feel better.

Kanan sighed, but gave the droid another small smile as he relented.

"How about this, Chop. Whenever you're around, and it's convenient for both of us, you can lead me around and help me out? I'll even give you the stick to hold on to, to make sure that I don't use it."

Chopper bipped lowly a little as he processed the idea before the body of him straightened fully with a clack, and he warbled in binary that it was an acceptable proposal.

Kanan almost fell on his face when the walking stick he'd been leaning on was abruptly snatched away from him a final time by Chopper's tiny mechanical arms.

"Chopper!" Kanan said as he flailed, but was caught as Chopper shoved into him, righting him and giving him brutal metal support. "I told you _I'd_ give you the stick! Don't just take it from me."

Chopper warbled an apology that Kanan was positive he hadn't at all meant, and simply went to work as Kanan's seeing-eye droid. Kanan could tell that he was pleased, perhaps even a bit excited at the arrangement, and Kanan sighed but couldn't stop a smile from pulling at his lips. Chopper finally being Chopper.

The droid seemed so excited by the development that he asked if Kanan desired to do anything or go anywhere, now that he wasn't going to be utilizing the stick. Chopper even made suggestions. They could go to the very top of one of the fleet ships for Kanan to feel the hot breeze. They could visit AP-5 in the crammed Supply Bay. They could go for a flight, and Chopper would direct him. They could go outside for a long walk right now, in the burning and relentless desert heat. Chopper was clearly so excited to take on this role that he was forgetting that most of those suggestions either weren't feasible, or were dangerous for Kanan right now and would likely lead to injury in spite of Chopper's aid.

"I appreciate the enthusiasm, Chop," Kanan said gently with a smile, "But I think the only place I really want to go right now, is back to my bunk. Between you and the Force, I got a bit of a mental workout, and I just want to rest for a while."

Chopper's demeanor immediately wilted, the enthusiasm in his movements lowered, and Kanan stroked the top of his metal casing. "It's not that I don't want to. Just not right now. Maybe when I'm feeling better. Maybe we can have that walk in the morning when it's cooler and the sun hasn't come out yet. But right now, I'd really appreciate your help getting to my cabin."

The droid chittered in binary as he perked up before using a small metal arm to begin slowly tugging the Jedi in the direction of the cabins, and Kanan was relieved that Chopper was finally cooperating. Once Kanan got to his bunk, he might not get out of it until dinner. Or ever.

With the hiss of a door and an abrupt ninety degree turn, he followed after Chopper tiredly, but paused a few feet in when his normal senses pricked up and his brow furrowed in confusion. He'd been expecting the faint scent of leather and bacta that lingered in his room, but that wasn't what he smelled. Instead it was ... a soft scent. Clean and welcoming and one he'd know anywhere.

This cabin smelled of Hera.

Confused, Kanan looked down at the droid who warbled in curiosity.

"Chopper ... this is Hera's cabin. I asked you to take me to mine."

Chopper chittered in false ignorance happily as he let go of Kanan's hand and backed out of the cabin with a quick rev of his motors. A moment after, the door had hissed shut. Just as Kanan was taking a step to go to his own cabin, he heard the locking mechanism take, and even as he tried to get the door open, he was unsurprised to find that it was shut tight from the outside.

"Chopper!" he yelled, but all he heard was a muffled warble as the astromech rolled past brightly, telling Kanan he should rest in his bunk so that when Chopper came back in an hour and a half, he would be more than sufficiently rested so that they could visit AP-5 before dinner. Kanan let his head tip back in exasperation again at yet another one of Chopper’s games. "My bunk is in my cabin."

Faintly he could make out amused chittering in binary. Chopper certainly didn't think that was the case.

Kanan sighed and turned towards Hera's bunk before readily collapsing on top of it, his loose hair tickling his cheeks as he nosed gently into her pillow. He was too tired and mentally exhausted to care to fight the droid on this one.

The residual scent of Hera’s skin and the gentle, clean lotion she used to keep it soft and maintained curled around him, caressing his senses and his mind as only she could, and he let it. It was wonderful, as it always was, and any irritation he had towards Chopper for locking him in here faded away with a tired and relieved sigh as the scent did wonders to soothe his aching mind.

It wasn't as if either he or Hera minded being in each other's cabin, but they maintained separate living quarters for a reason, for boundaries and lines that more and more didn't really seem to matter, and that neither of them truly cared for. With everything that had happened and their natural closeness, he suspected that Hera might propose a temporary living arrangement due to his blindness, until he became more accustomed to waking up in darkness or until his nightmares about Malachor ceased. When he'd woken up this morning, it had only been her calm and soothing presence that had grounded him.

He wouldn't turn her down, if she asked. Especially if it meant that he could listen to her as he fell asleep, surrounded by her and her scent. It wouldn't be a smart move and he should resist, but he was only a man, even if he was a Jedi, and if there was anyone he could be weak around, it was her. She'd proven that point well enough last night.

Besides. The rest of the crew would probably tell him it was about damn time he moved in with her. Zeb would probably be asking if he could move into the empty cabin immediately. He'd probably been waiting for something like this to happen ever since Ezra became a member of the crew.

These were all nice thoughts, gentle and soothing thoughts which surprised Kanan by bringing him closer and closer to the edge of sleep, guided by the scent of Hera. He felt himself relax, his mind unwinding from the stress of pushing himself through his meditation and figuring out what was up with Chopper. He found himself surprisingly close to the edge of sleep.

But there was a part of his concerns that he couldn't shake off, even if it had faded somewhat. It hadn't escaped his attention that Ezra had been avoiding him all day. He knew the others were doing what they could to look after him, but he also knew that he needed to talk to his Padawan. Doubts and pain and fear so easily festered in the kid, and he needed to nip this at the bud before it caused Ezra to fall any closer to the dark side. Somehow he needed to find a way to stop Ezra from worsening.

He hoped that in his ignorance, the Force would be able to guide him.

For now, he was willing to simply rest in Hera's bunk and let that conversation wait. Ezra was with Zeb right now somewhere on the planet, so it would do him no good to worry about it now. He'd do as Chopper suggested and refresh his mind for later and then, once they came back, he'd talk to the boy. But it was pointless now and he'd rest while he could. And who knew? Maybe, if he was lucky, Hera would come back soon and unlock the door. And, if he was _really_ lucky, she'd join him.

If not, it was still fine. He had her pillow and it smelled like her, and that was good enough for now to help him relax and let the darkness of sleep take him for a little while. Kanan wondered if Chopper knew that right now Hera was the only way he'd be able to achieve sleep. It wouldn't surprise him if he did, given Chopper's long perspective on his and Hera's relationship.

Crafty little droid. He'd have to thank Chopper when he woke up.

As a final thought before he dropped off into sleep, he realized Chopper still had his walking stick. And now the astromech had an hour and a half to get rid of it. With a soft huff into Hera’s pillow Kanan wrote it off as a lost cause. There was no way he was going to find that damn thing now. It had probably been Chopper's plan all along.

In the distance he thought that he heard a mechanical 'whoop-whoop!' of triumph. Kanan smirked sleepily.

Crafty little droid, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this piece, and I hope you enjoyed it! This was a fun piece to write, though writing about the interactions of a droid and a blind character was surprisingly difficult. Also, Chopper's speech pattern might be a little strange, but I like the idea that for as rough and ragged as Chopper appears to be, his binary is surprisingly formal. Anyway, I'd love to know what you thought, and again I hope you enjoyed this piece!
> 
> The next piece will be between Kanan and Ezra, and won't that be a fun conversation?


End file.
